Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you have to offer.
Start now. Not tomorrow, not when the weather is right, not when you are inspired, not when you get your lover back, not when vacation is over, not when the horoscope is perfect, not when the psychic says, not when you have the money, not when there are more people to hear what you have to say…. Start right now.
There are endless reasons why someone or some situation might be “bad for you.”
Subtle-but-perpetual criticism, toxic complaining, disconnection, narcissistic energy suckers, sheer boredom…
Take your pick of vibes that you’d rather not be around.
But a key reason that situations can be bad for you isn’t necessarily because of what a person or circumstance does “to you” — it’s how you will have to conform to the situation. The hurt happens when you shrink.
You will have to say less, dull your shine, pull in your power. You will play smaller, act dumber, mince your words.
You will restrain your magnificence — out of fear, or out of logic, or out of the intelligence to survive.
So it’s not about them, it’s about your response to them.
The next opportunity to meet, to work, to dine, to interact, to kiss, to speak, to spend, to serve (no matter how shiny, sexy, lucrative, coveted, necessary, obligatory or useful it may seem), ask yourself this:
I knew that if I allowed my fear to over take me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.
Oscar Wilde said that if you know what you want to be, then you inevitably become it - that is your punishment, but if you never know, then you can be anything. There is a truth to that. We are not nouns, we are verbs. I am not a thing - an actor, a writer - I am a person who does things - I write, I act - and I never know what I am going to do next. I think you can be imprisoned if you think of yourself as a noun.
If someone gives you a compliment, take it.
If someone tells you they love you, believe it.
If someone decides to spend time with you, cherish it.
Realize that you are special. Everything about you is capable of being loved, treasured and admired - so stop telling yourself otherwise.
You have spent enough days thinking you aren’t worth it.
It’s about time you start believing you are.