I know that there are times when you feel like you’re too much. Times when you wonder whether people would be better off without you in their lives. Times when you wonder whether you would be better off if you were someone different. Someone less intrusive. Less sensitive. Less vocal. Someone more acceptable. More tolerable.Someone easier. I understand that it’s so hard to drown out the voice telling you that there’s something wrong with who you are, but I need you to trust that you aren’t too much. I need you to trust that you deserve to be here. You don’t ever have to shrink or disappear for the sake of anyone else. You’re allowed to be immense and loud and open. You’re allowed to be unpalatable and unapologetic and uneasily defined. You’re allowed to use your voice and speak your truth. And more than anything, you’re allowed to take up space. Not despite who you are, but because of it. Because even though you might not always be able to see it, you have so many wonderful things to contribute to this world. Because you exist and therefore, you matter. Even when you’re struggling. Even when you’re difficult. Even when some people find you to be too much — you’re enough and you matter.
Most people do not realize that as they continue to find things to complain about, they disallow their own physical well-being. Many do not realize that before they were complaining about an aching body or a chronic disease, they were complaining about many other things first. It does not matter if the object of your complaint is about someone you are angry with, behavior in others that you believe is wrong, or something wrong with your own physical body. Complaining is complaining, and it disallows improvement.
My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.
I believe fiercely in helping others. I believe in making up your own rules. I believe in living life like you want to be here. I believe that your past does NOT define you. I believe in putting yourself out there, whatever “out there” is for you. I believe in having a sense of humor, especially about yourself. I believe that sometimes a little good old fashioned face to face is better than a text.
There are people who will feel threatened by the idea of you liking yourself. This is because if you like yourself, you’ll believe that you deserve to be treated well, so you won’t tolerate it when they treat you badly, and they either don’t know how to treat you properly or don’t want to treat you properly, so they know you liking yourself means that you will invariably leave them or stand up to them. When somebody wants you to be insecure or to doubt yourself, it’s because they want to use those insecurities and doubts against you. To hell with those people. They don’t care about you. They just want to be able to treat you like dirt, and they’re scared you won’t let them, so go ahead, scare them; love yourself.